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Title: QUANTAS problem reports Post by: Miss Magic on June 30, 2009, 05:43:45 pm Okay, I got this as an email :D made me laugh so I'll show it to y'all
Aircraft Maintenance Problems and Solutions: Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known as "squawks," submitted by QANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a fatal accident. P = Problem logged by the pilot. S = Solution and action taken by the engineers P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft. P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid. S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what they're there for! P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windscreen. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with words. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. Title: Re: QUANTAS problem reports Post by: RetroGen on April 06, 2010, 04:10:50 am You forgot most important one!
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget Title: Re: QUANTAS problem reports Post by: mollytime on April 06, 2010, 04:17:41 am hahahaha, that is awesome! OMG, I actually laughed for once today.
Title: Re: QUANTAS problem reports Post by: RetroGen on April 06, 2010, 04:23:41 am If that's 1st time you laugh today, then you are way too damn serious!
Title: Re: QUANTAS problem reports Post by: Miss Magic on April 06, 2010, 03:56:05 pm it isn't.... :(
Title: Re: QUANTAS problem reports Post by: mollytime on May 11, 2010, 03:34:51 am it isn't what? And I get really bored, then I don't laugh, so yeah. Love the
P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. I think its just genius. Here, I'll find more. Damn, you got them all. But on the subject of planes, watch this! I love it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L2xqINCClY&feature=related Title: Re: QUANTAS problem reports Post by: mollytime on May 11, 2010, 03:36:42 am HA! and this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elD38pJX7iE&NR=1 Title: Re: QUANTAS problem reports Post by: Miss Magic on July 16, 2010, 04:27:42 am huh?
Title: Re: QUANTAS problem reports Post by: mollytime on December 05, 2010, 06:35:33 pm HEEEEEEY!!! when did we actually manage to put the videos in the post????
Title: Re: QUANTAS problem reports Post by: mollytime on December 05, 2010, 06:40:08 pm Lol you've got to love our country's plane services!!!! hahaha! |