Come Home

[Miss Magic]

Mya dropped to her knees, heart pounding. Above her, she could hear the guards shouting orders, racing to round up the escapees before dawn. Below her was nothing but thin air; She was perched on a ledge halfway down a cliff on the coastline, trapped like a fish out of water.
Choking back a sob, Mya pressed her back up against the unforgiving stone and tried to order her scattered thoughts. What would Mamma have done? Closing her eyes, she tried to pull a memory into view. A hazy outline appeared, and the noise of the search faded. A laugh rang out, and she could hear the sound of running water. Opening her eyes again, Mya could feel her heart rate slowing; her mind was filled with the clear water of her memory, the panic faded.
A volley of shots rang out unnaturally loud in the midnight air, and a keening scream was cut off abruptly. Several seconds later, there was a splash as the body fell into the depths of the sea.  Who had fired? And worse, who had died?
As the echoes died away, the shouting above Mya intensified. The words themselves were garbled, but the meaning was clear: someone had been found. Mya shrunk back against the cliff face as beams of light swung out over the harbour. A sharp edged rock slashed her arm open, but the adrenaline coursing through her proved itself an effective anaesthetic, so she ignored it, her eyes tracking the lights on the water as they meandered ever closer. As soon as they hit the cliff, she would be captured. Mamma would never have forgiven her for getting caught up in this deadly game of ‘Cat and Mouse’
Now that fear no longer threatened to overwhelm her, Mya was able to focus on her escape. It had been pure luck that got her to where she was now, but it was time for logic to take over.
There was a rustle above her: a hound had caught her scent in the bushes. The beast was working its way down the cliff, its keepers apparently engaged elsewhere.
Suddenly there was a yelp, accompanied by the song of shingled rocks. The dog had wandered too close to the edge and slipped. Several of the searchlights paused, and then swung across to the cliffs. Mya froze as the nearest paused within a foot of her arm, but it darted away, focusing on a shadowed form lying on the rocks. The dog’s body was still.
Silence ripped through the icy air, then again the voices increased.
‘Drive them too the cliffs! There’s no way anything can survive that fall’
Mya’s attention had switched from the searchlights to the words above her, an error which now proved fatal as they zoned in on her, the glare of light almost paralysing. Mya’s blood went cold, but almost as swiftly was filled with warmth.  Her gaze dropped to the dark seas beneath her. She knew what to do.
In one fluid movement, Mya pushed her body away from the crippling rock, diving out into the air.
As she fell, the hazy shape in the back of her mind sharpened. It was a lady clad in white, a warm smile at home on her beautiful, immortal face. She raised one arm and beckoned.
‘Come to me, my daughter. It’s time to come home.’
An instant later Mya hit the water. Her mother’s smile expanded in her vision until it was all she could see.
           Then it was gone.

[mollytime]

The first three lines are good.

The rest?















































Haven't read it yet.

[Miss Magic]

*hurt*

[mollytime]

I will eventually read it, yuh? Yuh.

[Miss Magic]

[piersdad]

readable
and interesting a different  story and the twist at the end makes it stick in memory 

any story that has some unexpected twist  succeeds in enabling all the previous  general story  become fixed in memory.

this is why a good joke  can be related again from memory
but a mundane conversation forgotten second later

[Miss Magic]

that, I didn't know

[mollytime]

have no idea what to comment. Cat and mouse seems a bit modern, too.
Is this in the old days like, thou shalt not, and children should be seen not heard, thing?

[Miss Magic]

nao.... tis modern.....
I think it's about 2007

[mollytime]

yeah, well 'Mamma' gives it the sense that it's seventeenth-nineteenth century. Sorry.

[Miss Magic]

lol the 'mamma's were actually added in at a later date, it was suggested to give a running line throught the story, an effect I realised was lacking, perhaps I'll change it perhaps not

[mollytime]

u just wasted three hours on the computer putting up posts! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Miss Magic]

how is that in any which way related?

[mollytime]

i think you mean 'Cat and Mouse'.
And Drive them to the cliffs, not too

[Miss Magic]

thanks for the proof read